Wednesday, July 7, 2010

UNchristian (Entry 1)

Today (during jury duty), I've started the book, UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity... And Why it Matters, by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons.

I've found some of it quite interesting, not because it's really new or shocking information but because it has confirmed much of what I've already assumed or deeply considered.

Something interesting:
"One of the surprising insights from our research is that the growing hostility toward Christians is verys,uch a reflections of what outsiders feel they receive from believer. They say their aggression simply matched the oversized opinions and egos of Christians. One outsider put it this way: 'Most people I meet assume that Christian means very conservative, entrenched in their thinking, antigay, antichoice, angry, violent, illogical, empire builders; they want to convert everyone and they generally cannot live peacefully with anyone who doesn't believe what they believe.'"


Kinnaman says in the next paragraph, "We have become famous for what we oppose, rather than who we are for."

I find this interesting and poignant because I have observed this during my transition from CBU to "the secular world" (i.e. Barnes and Nobles workplace). People shy away from the homosexuality topic or leave out part of "last night" stories. If they don't shy away from it, they earmark the conversation with, "I know you don't agree with this, but..." and continue to share their opinion or story with a pride of individuality or arrogance of rebellion (these attitudes, although phrased differently, are also addressed in the first few chapters). It takes some time to establish a relationship with "outsiders" (as the author calls them) and express to them that I care deeply for them, and love them because they live and breath and are made in the image of God. And having come into the workplace with the Christian reputation trailing my steps, I was often excluded and/or treated as though I were too naive to understand or relate. It has taken the time I've been there to establish a trust with my co-workers, a trust that they seemed to give each other quite freely. I absolutely feel the pangs of being known for what I supposedly oppose rather than being know for the one whom I strive to follow.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My Teeth!

Today, I took a nap.
During my nap I dreamed that my teeth were falling out.
Falling out at the slightest touch.
I was bleeding from the mouth.
Aaron "dropped me off" at the dentist.
I stood in the waiting room, bleeding from the mouth with about 20 teeth in my cupped hands.
A man said, "You'll be okay, we'll be right with you."
I was bawling.
Bawling.
I woke up to Aaron calling me on the phone but I couldn't answer because I was out of breath.
I was; I was out of breath!

I was reading my book.
My phone notified me of an e-mail.
The e-mail had been long awaited.
The e-mail was from the school at which I interviewed for a teaching position.
The e-mail said that they no longer had an opening because the other teachers each decided to pick up an extra class period.

My teeth were falling out,
I STILL don't have a real job,
and I don't see any hope of having one soon.
I kind of really want to cry.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Hello, me

Yes, it's about time I caught up with myself. I feel like I've been lost for the past five months. I can't believe I've even made it through.

I'm at the point now where I am torn between celebrating and diving into deep depression. I have one whole week of teaching and a half week of "finals" left in my student teaching experience. I am so excited to have my life back and not work for eight hours a day without pay while someone else gets paid to watch me and check his email (seriously, who thought that up!?). I'm excited to think that my chances (theoretically) of being hired to teach will now go up. I've had fun getting to know my students and getting to know my own teaching style (to a degree). BUT I don't know what to do with the free time that is coming up. I will go from teaching 8 hours + working at night + 2 ridiculous classes to >> nothing + working a shift or two at B&N + more nothing. I will definite have a post-busy-and-unbearable-lifestyle emotional break down at some point. I will cry that it's over and I (probably) don't have a teaching job, I don't have many friends to hangout with or reflect with, I still have the crappiest family in all of ... well, my life. These are all the things I haven't invested emotions into for the last five months because I have invested every ounce of emotion into "hanging-in-there" and "just-getting-it-done."

Next

The topic of children has been floating to the surface so often lately! I have thought about it often and Aaron has talked about it, and people around me are pregnant, and people on TV want and are having children, and I'm babysitting those life sucking, evil, beautiful girls   .... now, the book I'm reading (we'll get to that) is talking about it! It's everywhere!

Next

Because things are winding down (kinda) I've been reading Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos. It's beautiful! I've just been so pleased to dive into it but also so careful to savor it. She writes with such tenderness but writes so vividly. She allows readers to not just see the plot but feel the plot and get a complete understanding of the thoughts running through each characters head (and so realistically... like their head actually existed!). I've just been so pleased. And then I realized why I was pleased: Marisa de los Santos has a doctoral degree in literature and creative writing! I had once twittered "I love reading good books." And I didn't  even know how to describe why I put it on my "good books" list, but HELLO!!! Finally someone who deserves to be a doctor of literature and creative writing and who deserves to be a best-selling author, and I just happen to run across her books (thanks to a VERY good friend)... that's the "good books" experience. And honestly, that experience is some kind of sparkling joy that, when poured into you, gives you that uncomfortable but pleasing and refreshing carbonated tears-in-your-eyes kind of feeling. It's that "it's so good, I want more, but the bubbles are making me tear up so I'll have to drink it slowly," kind of feeling that is nearly indescribable. It sounds ridiculous or just "off" but I've found so much joy in reading in the past few years - and this is one of the high points of the already-awesome feeling books give me.

Dear me,
I feel like it's just been a while. It's been too long, that's for sure. But soon we may grow tired of each other again - and quickly - so be prepared.
With great sincerity and honestly,
Me

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Twittereded

I did it.... I gave in and got a twitter account. And now I tweet...tweet... tweet.

twitter: stephuren

Saturday, February 13, 2010

5k Run - Fundraiser for Haiti Relief

NPN LA Marathon 5k Run
Team World Vision
Fundraiser for Haiti Relief

Los Angeles, CA | March 20, 2010

Start Time: 8:00 am @ Dodger Stadium, Lot G

Help our neighbors in Haiti: Join Team World Vision at the LA Marathon 5k and raise funds to help provide emergency supplies and long-term recovery.
No fundraising minimum! Every amount helps.

ViSiT THe WeBSiTE HeRe To LeaRN MoRe!

I would love others to join me!

Economic, Social and Cultural Rights for All

Modern Slavery - Human Trafficking