God is Good

All praise be to God. He's just GOOD! I know life is usually crazy and right now, while I'm trying to get this silly credential and be a wife and be a friend, it's really crazy.... but God is still good.
He's good because he provides hope. He's good because he PROVIDES! He's provided enough for me and enough for Aaron, and that's more than we deserve.

God, you're good! Kudos to you!

Today is Thursday February 26, 2009

In order to be green, I will stop wearing shoes.

The thought of killing an elephant with a laser gun really makes me laugh.

Why does "10 reasons to buy a Kindle 2… and 10 reasons not to" only have 6 reasons - 3 for yes and 3 for no?

Overwhelmed... Part 564

I feel overwhelmed. And I'm sad that I say that so often.

It would be one thing if I went to school and worked. Instead I work two very awkward and slightly-unstable jobs, I'm going to school to get a better job, I am leader of this hardly-existent non-committed mission catalyst team, I'm part of the NewSong missions board, I go to a weekly bible study, and I have the whole "start an orphanage" thing hanging over my head. By the way, I'm supposed to still be a wife, friend, sister, and PERSON during all of this too.

I spend a lot of my time feeling guilty that I can't spend more time on these things I committed to. I feel like people look at me and think I'm lazy and slack off all the time. I feel like I do too many things and not enough things well. I feel guilty studying when Aaron's around because he wants to spent time with me. I feel guilty studying when I could be working. I feel bad working so much that I can't see friends. I feel bad hanging out with anyone when I haven't e-mail the mission catalyst team. I feel bad that I haven't e-mail Janaman because I feel I can't make decisions he wants me to make. I feel bad that I don't work enough to contribute much money to our budget.

But I'm not even sure what to leave behind. What do I drop? What do I DITCH?
Really, I mean seriously, being real for a minute here.... I want to quit it all just because I'm so tired and so torn. I haven't even found a counselor yet! I haven't made time to deal with things that are eating me from the inside out.

I'm just overwhelmed... and I can't really sleep.

Human Trafficking

Last Sunday (Jan. 11th) was National Human Trafficking Awareness Day. I went, with my good friend Christine, to a rally in Whittier. It was different than anything I had ever done, but I really enjoyed it. I learned a bit more about what Human Trafficking is and got a very small glimpse of how to get involved in curing the disease. I've been interested in learning about Human Trafficking and Fair Trade causes for a while now, but I've kinda had a hard time knowing what I, personally, should be doing about it - other than read a lot of information about either. I'm still not completely sure how to get INVOLVED in curing this world wide epidemic, so for now, I will tell others about it and hope that someone will think of great things to do to help (and everyone else will pray for those victimized by it).

Accidentally, while doing research for a school culture report, I stumbled across the CIA World Factbook. Very interesting stuff, by the way. I thought I'd share with my ever so faithful friends and long-time blog fans (heehee... you do exist, right?) something I found.

From the CIA World Factbook (2008)

Regarding Trafficking of Persons - World Report
current situation:

• approximately 800,000 people, mostly women and children, are trafficked annually across national borders, not including millions trafficked within their own countries;
  
• at least 80% of the victims are female
  
• and up to 50% are minors;
  
• 75% of all victims are trafficked into commercial sexual exploitation;
  
• almost two-thirds of the global victims are trafficked intra-regionally within East Asia and the Pacific (260,000 to 280,000 people) and Europe and Eurasia (170,000 to 210,000 people)

Tier 2 Watch List: Albania, Argentina, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Bahrain, Burundi, Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad, China, Costa Rica, Cote d'Ivoire, Cyprus, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Dominican Republic, Egypt, Equatorial Guinea, Gabon, The Gambia, Guatemala, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Guyana, India, Jordan, Libya, Malaysia, Montenegro, Mozambique, Niger, Panama, Republic of the Congo, Russia, South Africa, Sri Lanka, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Venezuela, Zambia, Zimbabwe
Tier 3: Algeria, Burma, Cuba, Fiji, Iran, Kuwait, Moldova, North Korea, Oman, Papua New Guinea, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Syria


By the way, it happens here too! This is not simply the issue of people we'll never meet. (read the story of a Guatemalan girl duped into coming to the U.S., forced sell herself and kept captive.)

The Shack: An Incomplete Review

I'm reading the Shack. It's a pretty popular book, shelved in the Religious Fiction section at Barnes & Noble. I hesitated to read it because I typically avoid that section as a whole. I'm not very much excited by romance books that include Jesus as a side character. The Shack, however, is quite different. It's definitely deeper than I thought it was going to be. Also a surprise to me: the theology isn't horrifying. I actually agree with most of the author's theology. Granted, it's a fiction book so the theology needs to be taken with a grain of (fictional)salt, but the allusions the author gives seem to be quite biblical. I'm enjoying the comfort that the God characters grant the main character (Mack) and my thoughts are being provoked by the way the God characters challenge Mack's ideals of Christianity.

Without having completed the entire book (2/3rds the way through it now), I recommend it to Christians looking for a fiction book that will provoke thought while still providing a new world to step into (as fiction ought to!).

Google: start a 501(c)(3)

I'm having such a hard time with this whole "starting an orphanage" thing. I'm not even sure where to start. I assume I need to start by creating a 501(c)(3) to collect money for building and funding the children. But I also need to create an organization that can be "501(c)(3)-ed".... hmmm... Not only is it confusing me in that area, but also, Indians and Americans have very different ideas of "organization" or "starting a project." I said I'd like to start a website so that we can reach a larger group of people (because the church is not responding as well as I had hoped) and my dear Indian friend refuses to let me do that. In our online conversation he says, "NO no for ...website.......we will od through personal contact at the begining...inch by inch." So what do I do!?!?!? When no one at the church will fund this project, what do I do? No thats not even the question... the question is: if people from other places want to fund this project where would they send the money?

I'm just confused. I think I need to talk with someone who has seen a 501(c)(3) come into existence from the start.

Harder Than You Think

I'm sure I look alright... but I'm taking this harder than you might think. My insides tighten and my eyes water when I think about it. It makes me physically ill. I've decided to withdraw from my online class because I can't think straight and I don't feel even slightly motivated to care about school. My mind is racing... over the same road again and again. I'm not hungry. I can't sleep without dreaming horrible dreams (none nearly as harmful as reality, I suppose). I dreamed that all of my teeth fell out when I took a "nap" yesterday. I don't want to be around ANYONE but you, Mikey and Aaron. I'm sad for you and sad for me. I feel guilty that I didn't see it before. I feel guilty that I'm not near by to talk to you. I feel guilty that I live so far away. I'm afraid you think I left you. I miss you so hard it hurts. I showed up at work today, turned on my computer, and started to cry... then I went home. I went grocery shopping today because we had absolutely no food in our apartment... I had to listen to my iPod because I was afraid I'd think about all this and break down crying in the middle of the store. I wanted to text you... but I knew you wouldn't get it. I'll probably start taking medicine too, as soon as I can get help.

I'm sure I look alright... but I'm taking this harder than you might think.